This was written with WoW in mind, but I think most of us MMO gamers can relate.


Anger Management for Gamers
by cesarsuki

"Because everyone can tell you when you are being a jerk, but few can help you stop being one."- CesarSuki

1. Admit you have a problem. Ugh I hate the first step in every step program is like the dumbest most uncomfortable thing ever. And it's followed by an even more uncomfortable thing to do like "meet the person next behind you" or "stand up and present yourself to the group". So I'll tell you this: you don't have a problem for the simple fact that we all get angry every now and then. Even if the most peaceful person you know doesn't turn green like the Hulk and roar at you. Most likely that person is calm because he/she is looking at a mental video where they are smashing a chair on your head.

2. Breathe. Yeah stop banging at the keyboard because your WoW character got ganked, that is not helping you and you are just asking for high blood pressure problems.

I recommend you go to the most comfortable chair in your house and just sitting there until you can control your breathing. And NO, googling "Tibetan relaxation techniques" is not going to help. Just plan your Tibetan vacation at a later date because you are going to end up playing heavy metal music which is just going to make you more angry.




3. STOP typing. The best way to make yourself look bad is to try to continue your normal activities when you are not your normal you. Confusing? Let me explain if you are angry you might overreact at things that normally you would just ignore. And if you have a high rank like you are the guild master or the armor keeper then you would want to keep your reputation untouched.

4. Turn off the computer. WHAT?! Oh NOES the computer is my LIFE I can't do that! yes you can, stop being a wimp and get some sun, or moonlight if you got ganked at the wee hours of the morning. If you keep surfing the net you will end up getting the quitter syndrome faster and I will get:

"Bah! I'm quitting MMORPGs and going back to my PSP!"
"I remembered this never happened when I played on my XBOX!"
"I'm quitting WoW and buying Age of Conan!, so long suckers!"

Long story short, it's like telling your long term boyfriend/girlfriend that you are leaving her because he/she forgot you liked your tea with 3 spoons of sugar instead of 2. Don't be a drama queen, remember all those time you spent together happily grinding away nights and days.

Remember the more drama you make the more embarrassed you will be when it comes the time to say "uhh sorry I was angry and I didn't know what I was saying, Mike, can I have my account back?". You better pray Mike the guild warlock has a good heart and gives your account back, or else you are going to be in serious problems.

5. Play something else for a while. Ok so your best sword got stolen, maybe you can't but the drama in a split second. But if I know you well enough and your computer is like an extension of your body because you do everything in front of it (eat, sleep, watch movies, play music, date, etc...). Then at least open up a racing game or a FPS for some more immediate gratification. Because oh boy, that Epic Silver Eagle Sword with the +40 Attack is gone forever and it's going to take you months if not a bloody year to get it back.

6. Stay away from gold sellers. Yeah, you heard me. Keep your hands from reaching your credit card and purchasing $400.00 of WoW gold to buy back your precious Epic Silver Eagle Sword. With the prices of everything rising you are going to need them for the next month because geeeeeez, those bills are going up faster than a NASA rocket. But hey, if spending money will give you some relief I'm always accepting donations for Suki's Non-Profit Organization to Promote Sukiism and Pay for His Pocky Addiction.

7. Call somebody. If there is nobody home and preferrably not 4:30 am then try calling a gamer friend that you can trust and cry on his shoulder. Only gamers can understantd gamer blues, not your mom, or your colleage at work that is know-it-all that doesn't know what n00b means. Get that inside your head, we are gamers, brothers and sisters, we feel your pain.

Wow, what was that? was I preaching?...umm next please!




8. Extending number 7, do not by all means call your non-gaming significant other! (If you happen to be one of those poor souls that have a non-gaming lover). Why? Are you even asking me this? I don't care if she/he is your emotional support he/she will think you are being a geek and a wimp for crying over a low polygon sword that doesn't even exist!

Yeah yeah, he/she loves you and blablabla, and he/she will never do that. Go ahead say I'm crazy but trust me if you ever get on his/her nerves, I can promise you my words will come back to haunt you when you hear: "And remember when you cried for that stupid sword they stole from you!!! I can't believe I actually held you through that!!"

9. Pick your enemies carefully. Before you start blaming THzor666 the guild leader from the most powerful enemy guild for stealing your precious sword or ganking you, you might want to give it a second thought. Remember: non-sensical bloodshed intense wars have been fought in world history because some people just can't sit down, shut up and cool their heads before throwing their whole battalion into a slaughter house.

10. After you give yourself some cooling time. Give yourself some closure, if you have pics of your ganking or pics of your character wearign the lost item, make a post on our guild forum or game forums and just mourn your items. Don't worry macho boy, we won't think you are a sissy if you are in pain for losing the Epic Silver Eagle Sword with the +40 Attack.

It happens, sh*t happens, we all just have to learn to deal with it.